So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
