i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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