New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
