I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
