Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
