physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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