I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
