Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My feet surprised me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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