Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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