I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
