Sry I called you an 8
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
