I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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