This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
