Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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