Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
