Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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