it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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