I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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