just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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