Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this is an emotional support booty call
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
