so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My balls are so social today.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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