ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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