So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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