your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
if only i could text you this smell
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
