my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
