dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
