If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
