its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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