There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
