Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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