you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
