Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
