I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
