There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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