How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We left an ass print on the piano.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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