So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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