how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
