She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize