this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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