Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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