We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
