I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
