and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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