but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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