he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
