Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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