Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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