Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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