The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think my tv is drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
