So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pooping to opera.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
