yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize