Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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