How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
