i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
