Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
