He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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