she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
