He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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