His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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