now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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