i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
