even my farts smell like vagina
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
