Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
