so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
