Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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