cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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