She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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